SpongeBob The Super Model!
by Homicidal Ovary
Summary: This... thing... is... frigging... wierd.... why did i write this?
1. Help Mr K!

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own SpongeBob and all related characters.**

**SpongeBob the Super Model**

"SpongeBob! Get out of my ass!" Squidward screeched. SpongeBob was once again running around the Krusty Krab with Squidward's rear-end covering his face.

"I can't see anything!," cried SpongeBob, "It's too dark in here!"

"You're tearing my anal tract apart!"

"Hold on, let me light a match!" said a not-so-bright SpongeBob.

"Noooo!" cried Squidward, "Please don't SpongeBob! The last thing I need is flames on the inside of my ass!"

SpongeBob lit a small match anyway, and held it up to see the inside of Squidward.

"Wow! There's a Snickers Bar in here Squidward! Can I have it please?" asked SpongeBob.

"Yes! Whatever you want! Just get out of there! I've got to take a dump!" Squidward yelped.

"I can see that." Observed SpongeBob.

Suddenly, SpongeBob felt Mr. Krabs strong claws grasp his waistline and pull him out of Squidward's fleshy bottom. Squidward sighed of relief.

"SpongeBob! Quit playin' fanny bandit and get back to work!" ordered Mr. Krabs.

"Aye Aye! My homo-hating boss!" SpongeBob ran into the kitchen gleefully, Snickers Bar in hand. Squidward held his bottom and ran to the men's room. SpongeBob ate his candy and prepared food for customers while fantasizing about Patrick in Victoria's Secret apparel. Mr. Krabs then burst into the kitchen.

"SpongeBob! I need you to do something for me, but it's goin' to require a lot of estrogen on your part." Announced Mr. Krabs.

_Do I finally get to make sweet love to my crustaceous boss? _Thought SpongeBob; smiling.

"I know what you're thinking SpongeBob, and the answer is no." said Mr. Krabs, "I can't get it on anymore because I'm old, and every medicine I took made my boner last more than four hours".

"More than four hours?" SpongeBob smiled more.

"Don't push it, boy" Mr. Krabs narrowed his eyes. SpongeBob's smile crept from ear to ear. "Don't rub it in, lad" Mr. Krabs warned SpongeBob again. SpongeBob kept on smiling. "SpongeBob, you rub me the wrong way" Mr. Krabs said. SpongeBob's smile got so big that it didn't even reach the limits of his face anymore.

"Look," said Mr. Krabs, "Me lovely daughter Pearl is going to her senior prom in a week, and I want to surprise her with a new dress, a cheap one though, and that's where you come in you little flaming faggot."

"Huh?"

"SpongeBob, I need you to go with me dress shopping, I need you're advice! I want to get the best, yet cheapest, dress for me darling daughter." Said Mr. Krabs.

"Wow Mr. Krabs! I'd be more than happy to help you!" exclaimed SpongeBob.

"That's the spirit you little fagbaget!" said Mr. Krabs.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	2. Ms Barrymore

**AN: Ok, this chapter is crappy, I know. I've been having a little writer's constipation lately. I've been screwing around on Eddsworld and Myspace too much lately, and this is the result.**

**I also want to add the fact I LOVE SpongeBob and Drew Barrymore, I just like to tease them. So don't think I'm some sort of SpongeBob/Drew Barrymore/CoverGirl hater. I use Covergirl for bagel's sake!!!**

**SpongeBob The Super Model**

**Chapter 2**

SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs walked into the Bikini Bottom Mall; Mr. Krabs expressionless, but SpongeBob smiling like a squirrel in an orgy on crack. Speaking of squirrels, Sandy decided to show up at the mall as well. She skipped up to the crustacean and smiling kitchen sponge.

"Howdy SpongeBob! Howdy red sweaty dude!" she chirped, with a smile that lit up the whole mall.

"Hi Sandy!" exclaimed SpongeBob, "Guess what? I'm helping Mr. Krabs find a dress for Pearl, maybe if I'm lucky, I could try on a couple of things!"

"Oh SpongeBob," said Sandy, "You silly little nigga!" (I'm not racist, but I think Sandy is)

"Oh you frisky little whorebag!" SpongeBob giggled.

"Is this normal for you two?" Mr. Krabs asked.

"Oh you should see us Friday nights!" exclaimed SpongeBob.

"The whipped cream…" said Sandy.

"The whips…" added SpongeBob.

"The vibrations…"said SpongeBob.

"SpongeBob, I thought you were gay." Said Mr. Krabs, confused.

"Well, sometimes it's nice to get a break from anal sex." SpongeBob replied.

"Why don't you just take a break from sex, in its entirety?" Mr. Krabs asked.

SpongeBob went white. He'd never thought that could be a possibility, he'd been sleeping around ever since he was eight. Sex was what made his world spin (literally).

"I will put that suggestion on my plate, Mr. Krabs, put for now, we need to get Pearl a kick-ass dress for prom!"

……………………………………………………………………………………………

"What do you think of this one Mr. K?"

SpongeBob came out in a wig with a full make-up job, wearing a velvet red dress and heels.

"Uh, it's a little too expensive looking." Said Mr. Krabs.

"Nonsense Mr. Krabs! No expense should be spared when it comes to your daughter!"

"Sp-" Mr. Krabs started.

"Excellent quote ma'am." Interrupted a woman who looked pretty important, "I can see you're full of intellect as you are beauty."

"Are you talking to me?" asked SpongeBob.

"Yes. What's your name?"

"What's it to you?" Mr. Krabs asked.

"Well, my name is Drew Barrymore, and I model for CoverSkank. Maybe you've seen my commercials?" said Ms. Barrymore.

"Oh yeah, you're in those commercials with the mascara that has the collagen in it." Said Mr. Krabs.

"No Mr. Krabs! That's those jackasses over at Maybelline! Ms. Barrymore here endorses Lash Blast. Any educated person knows that." Said SpongeBob.

"Ugh…"

"So, you're familiar with CoverSkank?" Drew asked.

"Oh yes! It's the only brand of make-up I wear!" replied SpongeBob.

"Well then, how would you like a modeling contract?" proposed Barrymore.

"Aahhh! I would love that!" SpongeBob squealed.

"What's your name then?"

"Oh, uh…. SpongeBella! SpongeBella ScissorPants (ha ha, look at my cute little Edward Scissor hands reference)" replied SpongeBob.

Mr. Krabs knew better than to get involved from that point on.


End file.
